You’d put on the news and it would be rainbows and sunshine instead of doom and gloom.
‘Nice’ Defined
According to Merriam-Webster, the dictionary defines nice as being ‘kind, polite and friendly’. I dare you to turn on the TV and tell me that we can’t use an extra serving of ‘kind, polite and friendly’ in our world right now.
Anyway, I digress, the real problem is the misguided idea that we can be too nice, that nice guys or girls finish last, and the equally misguided idea that being too nice is a bad thing.
Picture this: You’re on a date with a person who seems to be extremely kind, polite and friendly, like you’re super impressed at this point at just how much of a gentleman he’s being… but then it all changes when the waiter comes to take your order…
For whatever reason your date starts to play the entitled card and starts to treat the waiter like a second class citizen for no reason and continues to do so throughout dinner. Would you consider your date to be a nice person?
I hope the answer is no… like, comment or share if you agree!
The Truth
Let’s get back to you now… because I’m talking about how to create more balance in your relationship element this month.
When our relationships are going well, we are happier, we eat better, we exercise more, we love life, we make better decisions and we make more money! FACT!
If you fail to set boundaries with people, if you avoid challenging conversation because you don’t want to hurt someone else’s feelings, if you refuse to say ‘no’ when you know that you should, or if you accept all sorts of unacceptable behaviour because you’re scared of confrontation, this has nothing to do with you being ‘too nice’.
You’re doing these things because you don’t have a good relationship with yourself. Your relationship element is out of balance and chances are, so is your life or business.
Why? Because you feel bad about yourself, you make poor life decisions, poor lifestyle choices, and you don’t make the money you deserve to make because you’re not motivated. You’re not tapping into your highest potential.
There is nothing nice about failing to love and honour yourself, just like there is nothing nice about your date treating you well and yet being a complete jerk to the waiter.
Selective choosing to be nice is just wrong… it doesn’t work like that.
You need to be truly kind, polite and friendly on a consistent basis, and that includes being nice to you too.
This means respectfully standing up for yourself and your values, respecting your boundaries by saying ‘no’, having crucial and difficult conversations, and walking away from toxic relationships before they destroy your happiness, sanity and your health.
I was in such a toxic relationship once that I literally broke out into hives because of the level of stress that I inflicted as a result to the point where I had to cut this person out of my life.
Listen to the signals before it gets to that point – check in with how you feel, how you speak with yourself, how you speak to others… check in with your thoughts, your beliefs, your fears, your actions and behaviours…
Do not confuse dishonouring or not loving yourself with being too nice – those two things are totally different.
The Myth of Being Too Nice
There is no way to be too kind, too polite or too friendly to yourself or to anyone else and we should all be striving to be too nice.
Are you too nice because you…
- Smile a lot?
- Hug people often?
- Talk to strangers?
- Are consistently friendly and kind to service professionals?
- Willingly and happily wanting to give your time to help people?
- Have the ability to connect with people almost instantly?
- Feel a deep sense of empathy for others who are suffering or in pain?
- Are genuinely happy?
- Are positive and excited?
If this is you, and people are telling you that you are too nice, you have my permission to love them and leave them because the world needs more of those things, not less.
The world needs your unique brilliance and your light because when we shine, we shine brighter together.
And if you are all of these things, then you my dear are a change-maker; you are making this world a better place with your love and light.
Keep shining and keep being too nice.
Wellness 360 Check-in
Reflect on the above and check in with your relationships – the one with yourself, your loved ones, and those around you.
If you want help overcoming what’s stopping you from stepping into the CEO position of your life and making the life you say you want a reality, let’s talk.
Click HERE to apply for a free strategy session.
